This is a story I love to tell, and with the release of The Half-Blood Prince, I figured now would be a good time to publish it.
I'm a self-professed geek...been known to read a comic book every now and again, collected baseball cards as a child and even play the occasional video game to unwind. I'm all for having hobbies, and love it when people are passionate about things that are important to them. As with everything in life though, there have to be limits. I, unfortunately, met a girl who knew no such limits. As much as it pains me to admit, I (briefly) dated a Harry Potter freak.
From the pre-date conversations, I knew she was a fan, and I thought it was kind of cool. I had no idea how far her fandom extended though. The first date went well enough...she talked, a lot, about her Potter obsession, but I didn't mind. She was cute, funny, and seemed reasonably intelligent. Date 2 went equally well, as did date 3. I'll I was a wee bit concerned that each of the first 3 dates ended at my apartment, despite date 2 taking place much closer to hers than mine. I was having fun though, so I tried not to overthink it.
Date 4 finally went back to her place, and I wish I had been able to go back in time to avoid that...it was disturbing. The entire apartment was decked out in Potter stuff..."artwork," multiple copies of the books everywhere, more stuff than I knew existed really. Just when I thought it couldn't get any stranger, we went into her bedroom. She showed me her costumes, her "wand" and the giant Lego model of Hogwarts Castle next to her bed. I was really quite weirded out by all of this, but also slightly drunk, so I didn't run away screaming as I would have if I had been sober. Incredibly enough, things got stranger from there. She put on some music (wizard rock, which is as bad as the name of the genre suggests).
Somehow, she even managed to incorporate this HP lingo into her dirty talk...I didn't think there was much that could sound bad coming from a cute, semi-clothed girl, but somehow the word "muggle" just doesn't work. The mood sufficiently ruined, I told her I should go, but she asked me to stay...big mistake. She talked in her sleep, and in the morning, I realized that her wardrobe is comprised almost exclusively of Potter-related t-shirts. Apparently during our first 4 dates, I had seen 80% of her "nice" outfits.
I left, ran to the subway, and it was over. I imagine that if there had been a fifth date, I may have seen her last nice piece of clothing, but can't help but wonder what would have happened on date 6...would she have gone back to the beginning of the rotation, or would she have been comfortable enough to break out the Potter gear?
I've had bad, I've had strange, and I've even had one or two good dates. No matter how long I live, I don't think I'll find another girl as bizarre as the HP freak...if I do, something is very, very,very wrong with my life.
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